bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
How to prepare yourself for your 2015/2016 Snowmobiling Season
1. Go to your local snowmobile Repair shop that is an hour or two away, smile and give the first guy you see $200. This will get you used to driving for a long period of time and spending money there on a regular basis.
2. Put on all your snowmobile clothing, go out into the driveway, jack your truck up, do a brake job, rotate the tires, change the oil and filter and grease the whole truck. This will get you prepared for working on your snowmobile and getting oil, grease and dirt all over your snowmobile clothing that will never come clean!!!!!.
3. Hook your truck up to you snowmobile trailer that has snowmobile decals all over it and drive up and down the highway at 100 mph until you get stopped by the state police. This will prepare you for getting speeding tickets this winter when heading to your favorite snowmobiling place and getting stopped by the state police because for some reason it seems like they only pull over snowmobilers in the winter.
4. Talk to the local drycleaners to find out if they can get the oil, grease and dirt stains out of your snowmobile riding gear. This will prepare you so that you know that you just spent big bucks on your snowmobile clothing that you won’t be able to get the stains out of.
5. Fill a 55-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your snowmobile out of the deep snow.
6. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle your back. This will get you in shape for starting your buds snowmobile, which he conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.
7. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and heavy riding coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency. This get you prepare for the beer shits that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
8. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from one of your blown up motors in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your snowmobile in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.
9. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your riding boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar after a ride.
10. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding on a lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers' field.
11. Find a place where you can pay $6.00 a gallon for 94 octane gas that has water in it; pay $60.00 for a gallon of oil; $10 for a hamburger and frozen French fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you for the high cost of your future winter trips.
12. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $60,000 truck to pull the four $12,000 apiece snowmobiles, in your $9,000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the trails and riding your snowmobile this season.
Have fun this snowmobile season!!!!!!!
1. Go to your local snowmobile Repair shop that is an hour or two away, smile and give the first guy you see $200. This will get you used to driving for a long period of time and spending money there on a regular basis.
2. Put on all your snowmobile clothing, go out into the driveway, jack your truck up, do a brake job, rotate the tires, change the oil and filter and grease the whole truck. This will get you prepared for working on your snowmobile and getting oil, grease and dirt all over your snowmobile clothing that will never come clean!!!!!.
3. Hook your truck up to you snowmobile trailer that has snowmobile decals all over it and drive up and down the highway at 100 mph until you get stopped by the state police. This will prepare you for getting speeding tickets this winter when heading to your favorite snowmobiling place and getting stopped by the state police because for some reason it seems like they only pull over snowmobilers in the winter.
4. Talk to the local drycleaners to find out if they can get the oil, grease and dirt stains out of your snowmobile riding gear. This will prepare you so that you know that you just spent big bucks on your snowmobile clothing that you won’t be able to get the stains out of.
5. Fill a 55-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your snowmobile out of the deep snow.
6. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle your back. This will get you in shape for starting your buds snowmobile, which he conveniently forgot was out of gas. It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.
7. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and heavy riding coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency. This get you prepare for the beer shits that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
8. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from one of your blown up motors in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your snowmobile in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.
9. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your riding boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar after a ride.
10. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding on a lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers' field.
11. Find a place where you can pay $6.00 a gallon for 94 octane gas that has water in it; pay $60.00 for a gallon of oil; $10 for a hamburger and frozen French fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you for the high cost of your future winter trips.
12. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $60,000 truck to pull the four $12,000 apiece snowmobiles, in your $9,000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the trails and riding your snowmobile this season.
Have fun this snowmobile season!!!!!!!
LMAO.. nice!!
yamahamark
Member
Sound about right. Lol...
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
us snowmobilers are a breed of our own,who else would go thru all that and still want to do it all over season after season.Some how we find a way to continue the tradition.After that nice long ride somehow it all seems worth it !!!! LOL