A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, 'Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
The nun replied, 'He went that way'.
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq .'
The nun said, 'I understand completely'.
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of nuts...I don't want to go to Iraq either.'
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, 'Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
The nun replied, 'He went that way'.
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq .'
The nun said, 'I understand completely'.
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of nuts...I don't want to go to Iraq either.'
Lol!!
A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders,
accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field
trip to Churchill Downs, the famous Louisville race
track, to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom,
it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher
and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside
the men's room when one of the boys came out and
told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys
with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up,
one by one, holding onto their privates to direct
the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that
he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show
that she was staring, the teacher said,
'You must be in the fourth grade.'
He replied: 'No, ma'am, I'm riding Silver Arrow
in the 7th race today.'
accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field
trip to Churchill Downs, the famous Louisville race
track, to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom,
it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher
and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside
the men's room when one of the boys came out and
told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys
with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up,
one by one, holding onto their privates to direct
the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that
he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show
that she was staring, the teacher said,
'You must be in the fourth grade.'
He replied: 'No, ma'am, I'm riding Silver Arrow
in the 7th race today.'
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas.
When the man told her it would cost $300.00 she exclaimed: "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"
The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"
"Yes, anything," the blonde promised.
With that, the man said: "Follow me."
He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door." She did.
He then said: "Get on your knees." She did.
Then he said: "Take down my zipper." She did.
He said: "Go ahead...take it out”.
She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands.
The man closed his eyes and whispered: "Well... go ahead!"
The blond slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly: "HELLO .... MOM???"
When the man told her it would cost $300.00 she exclaimed: "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"
The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"
"Yes, anything," the blonde promised.
With that, the man said: "Follow me."
He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door." She did.
He then said: "Get on your knees." She did.
Then he said: "Take down my zipper." She did.
He said: "Go ahead...take it out”.
She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands.
The man closed his eyes and whispered: "Well... go ahead!"
The blond slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly: "HELLO .... MOM???"
yammiman
Member
After a very intense lovemaking session with his new girlfriend, the man and woman laid in bed together while she lovingly stroked his privates - after about an hour of this, the man asked "Why do you like to do that so much?"
She smiled and said "I really miss mine!!"
She smiled and said "I really miss mine!!"
yammiman said:
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
I can tell that you guys can't wait for the snow to fly....right.