Bernie came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Bernie.
Bernie was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’
St. Peter said, ‘I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’
Bernie was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’
‘Not bad,’ replied Bernie the hen, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’
‘You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?’
‘Never,’ said Bernie.
‘Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ‘It’s no big deal.’
Bernie did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Bernie was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
‘Bernie! Wake up! You sh!t in the bed!’
Oh, and Valin, no visuals on this one please
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Bernie.
Bernie was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’
St. Peter said, ‘I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’
Bernie was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’
‘Not bad,’ replied Bernie the hen, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’
‘You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?’
‘Never,’ said Bernie.
‘Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ‘It’s no big deal.’
Bernie did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Bernie was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
‘Bernie! Wake up! You sh!t in the bed!’
Oh, and Valin, no visuals on this one please
valin
Active member
LOL. Not even this?
Dang! Now I got a visual LOL
sleddineinar
VIP Member
Now that was funny!!!!!!!! Visual and all....
valin
Active member
I'm here for you ..... 
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
Hey Jeff..as usual another good one.Where do you come up with these????
Hey it was cool how we meet at W Dyck and Sons today.What made you shout out my name??? Was it " bluemonster" printed on the back of my Totallyamaha Cap that gave it away. Anyways it was great to finally meet.Hey maybe this winter we can get together for my riding lolll.Like this would be the third winter we will be trying to hook up for a ride.
Keep them funnies coming in..gets the guys on here to have something to look foward to in the off season..
There are 3 off us now who are in construction,renovations line of work.There's you stein700sx,there's cam/viper and then me.We all three got to hook up next season for some riding..should be great.Maybe we should get a Totallyamaha ride going that consists of construction,carpenter,cabinet type of guys.We can all get together and build an Igloo....lolll
Hey it was cool how we meet at W Dyck and Sons today.What made you shout out my name??? Was it " bluemonster" printed on the back of my Totallyamaha Cap that gave it away. Anyways it was great to finally meet.Hey maybe this winter we can get together for my riding lolll.Like this would be the third winter we will be trying to hook up for a ride.
Keep them funnies coming in..gets the guys on here to have something to look foward to in the off season..
There are 3 off us now who are in construction,renovations line of work.There's you stein700sx,there's cam/viper and then me.We all three got to hook up next season for some riding..should be great.Maybe we should get a Totallyamaha ride going that consists of construction,carpenter,cabinet type of guys.We can all get together and build an Igloo....lolll
Cam/ Viper adict
New member
Igloo building...hhhhmmmmm... I am in..lol.. Love to hook up for a T.Y. contractor, carpentry ride...lol... Wonder if my sled will pull the tool trailer...lol...
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
yeah ..leave it for the beast..the SRX.It will pull your trailer and still pass you guys...lolll. Can the trailer stand high speeds of 118 mph....
Seriously we should plan the TY ride..it would be an awesome time Cam.We can take pics as we build a cabin out in the woods to keep warm .lollll.We can haul the logs in with our sleds,use our chainsaws and manufacture away.Between the 3 of us we should be able to build the cabin in about 2 hours.
Seriously we should plan the TY ride..it would be an awesome time Cam.We can take pics as we build a cabin out in the woods to keep warm .lollll.We can haul the logs in with our sleds,use our chainsaws and manufacture away.Between the 3 of us we should be able to build the cabin in about 2 hours.
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bluemonster1 said:
Not sure if it was the TY hat or the TY shirt. The snow is gone and you are still bleeding blue. LOL
Nice to finally meet ya.This winter we WILL have a TY contractor ride
And according to the weather lately winter is just around the corner
Cam/ Viper adict
New member
bluemonster1 said:yeah ..leave it for the beast..the SRX.It will pull your trailer and still pass you guys...lolll. Can the trailer stand high speeds of 118 mph....
I will leave it for the beast so I can play on the Viper..lol.. Once bitten you wont want anything else..lol..
I would like to get a T.Y ride going. I think that would be awesome. I am sure there are quite a few T.Y riders in the area that would go for it, and other guys that would be in. Lets work on something...
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
Between the 3 of us..we should be able to come up with something.Got to figure out the place and the dates.I think it would be cool if we could come up with a theme like Contractor Ride or something close .We have all summer to think about it and yes Jeff..it does seem like winter is around the corner or coming early this year.Just hope the price of fuel doesn't spike to high.
Cam/ Viper adict
New member
Summer will be over soon at this rate. I am in, may have to get together for coffee or something and work on it... May have to have a theme ride with tools strapped on the sleds...lol...
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
lol Cam the tool man!!!!!
Cam/ Viper adict
New member
Yes, I love the tools... The more I get the happier I am...lol... My girlfriend has come to the conclusion that I have my own personal store dug in my basement...lol... I always have a part or tool that is needed for her place or car...lol... She wanted command start for her car so I went down to the basement and brought one up for her, she just shook her head..lol...