opsled
Active member
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
The teacher held her breath ...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.. "$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,
"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."
They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"
Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
opsled
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
The teacher held her breath ...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.. "$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,
"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."
They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"
Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
opsled
opsled
Active member
Blonde and redhead sisters
The redhead sister turns to the blonde and says;
I slept with a Brazilian!!!
The Blonde turns to her sister and says:
YOU SLUT HOW MANY IS A BRAZILIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The redhead sister turns to the blonde and says;
I slept with a Brazilian!!!
The Blonde turns to her sister and says:
YOU SLUT HOW MANY IS A BRAZILIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
opsled
Active member
Grandma wants to be a biker
A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers
club.
One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big, hairy
bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers.
She proclaims, "I want to join your club."
The guy was quite amused, but explains that she needs to meet certain biker
requirements in order to join the club . The biker asks; "Do you have
a motorcycle?
The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there," and
pointed to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, drink like a fish… beer mostly,
whiskey when I’m shooting pool.. I'll drink
everyone in your club under the table."
The biker is surprised but then asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 2
packs of cigarettes and three joints a day ,
and cigars when I’m drinking whiskey and shooting pool”
The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever
been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've
been swung around by my nipples a few times."
A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers
club.
One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big, hairy
bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers.
She proclaims, "I want to join your club."
The guy was quite amused, but explains that she needs to meet certain biker
requirements in order to join the club . The biker asks; "Do you have
a motorcycle?
The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there," and
pointed to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, drink like a fish… beer mostly,
whiskey when I’m shooting pool.. I'll drink
everyone in your club under the table."
The biker is surprised but then asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 2
packs of cigarettes and three joints a day ,
and cigars when I’m drinking whiskey and shooting pool”
The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever
been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've
been swung around by my nipples a few times."