Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas.
I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting.
Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the naughty vs. Nice contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for.
I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the nice criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided.
Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident
and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help
clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me.
I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat *** and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? He sees you when you're sleeping;
He knows when you're awake. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totinos pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement.
You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your *** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
Timmy,
That's what I thought, you little bastard.
Santa
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas.
I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting.
Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the naughty vs. Nice contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for.
I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the nice criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided.
Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident
and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help
clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me.
I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat *** and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? He sees you when you're sleeping;
He knows when you're awake. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totinos pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement.
You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your *** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
Timmy,
That's what I thought, you little bastard.
Santa
A couple of bucks
VIP Member
Good one.
SRX500kid
New member
I want so many thing for Christmas there are too many to list but the two I most want is SNOW and ICE please Santa please!!!
bluemonster1
LIFE MEMBER ONLY ONCE!!!
Dear SRX500kid,
Don't think that is possible at this time.I need to keep the snow North of you this time around.Not enough snow to spread throughout.I need good snow to land and take off from..so this season some of you have to sacrifice in order for others to have..
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
lol!!!
Don't think that is possible at this time.I need to keep the snow North of you this time around.Not enough snow to spread throughout.I need good snow to land and take off from..so this season some of you have to sacrifice in order for others to have..
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
lol!!!
A couple of bucks
VIP Member
A wize Vulcan once said.....The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.bluemonster1 said:
A couple of bucks
VIP Member
Dear Santa,
I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs
and a bathroom I can play baseball in.
I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs
and a bathroom I can play baseball in.