This is a great site and most certainly a credit to Tom and the TY team. I havn't been a member long enough to understand the issues well enough to make suggestions, however, I have enough experience working as a senior manager to know that TY is at risk of losing its CEO. Maybe this site has outgrown the administrative structure that created it. Generally, when that sort of things happens in an organization, high quality people are often lost.
Here are some thoughts for your consideration.
1) Big Mack is right on...if everyone paid a user fee, ....well, his points are my points.
2) Maybe the CEO responsiblity could be shared so one person does not burn out.
3) Maybe the bitcher issues could be managed publically. If someone complains, move the post to a section where all members can act as judge and jury.
4) Maybe the role of moderator needs to be made more public. While there is only one MrSled, perhaps each forum could be the responsiblity of a mini MrSled and everyone would know who that person is. MrSled, the CEO, needs to focus on more global issues. The true CEO's role is visionary, not operational.
5) Perhaps individuals who are interested in providing an administrative role could serve a period of indentureship, shadowing and learning from an existing moderator. This would make it possible for people to take a break knowing they have trained backup.
Well, there's some thoughts for now. Tom, we have never met but the quality of this site, your selection of friends, the support you have, the wisdom you show in the way you handle some of the issues tells me everything about you I need to know. Take the time you need to regain your perspective and balance. I know you can count on those close to you to step up to the plate. Merry Xmas to you and your family.