You Know What Blows My Belt


1. I pull into a fuel station to get fuel, there are 8 pumps that offer gasoline and only two of them have a diesel option also, and the only other two customers there chose to ignore the other 6 open pumps and get gas for their Prius at the pump that also has diesel.

2. People that drive 5-10 mph under the speed limit and hold up a string of cars. (Only permissible if dealing with #3) If you can't drive the lowly speed limit, realize that you suck at driving and just quit.

3. Being tailgated while doing the speed limit or even 5mph over...ESPECIALLY in a school zone. Guess what? Now we're going to do 10 mph under the speed limit.

Here's a snowmobile one from a few years ago that actually made me laugh more than "blowing my belt".
There's a lady here locally that has a reputation for being a really good rider. She has won quite a few trophies for various sno-cross and hill climbing events that her and her husband travel all over to find and participate in. Several articles in the local newspaper about her. So, out riding one day I run out to a spot to do a hillclimb in a local riding area. The climb involves having to do some minor sidehilling out a ways before hooking a right up the hill to try to climb it. As I'm sidehilling out I see someone standing on the downhill side of their sled holding onto it for dear life because the sled is tipped on its side and about to roll over the top of them and then will likely get damaged in the trees below. I slow down and then lean into the hill hard and gas my sled so I can stop with the sled level and help. Jump off, grab the uphill ski and get the sled pulled back over and off of them. I bounce a couple times on the uphill ski and the foot rail to get the sled to stay put. The person peels her helmet off and low and behold it is the local "famous" lady. Instead of thanks or anything, she immediately starts saying that her husband still has her sled setup for snocross and that is why she got messed up, excuse after excuse. Like I care, we all mess up right? So then she starts pulling on her sled and it won't start. She says "oh great it's flooded. It takes forever to start when I flood it, you might as well go". I ask her if she knows how to get it to start when its flooded and she looks at me confused. So I grab her throttle and hold it wide open. I tell her that if you hold the throttle wide open for a minute or so and then pull it over with the throttle still open it will start. She looks at me like I grew and arm out of my forehead, but doesn't stop me. After a minute of holding it open, I pull on the cord. The sled starts on the second pull. She gets her gear back on, gets on the sled, and instead of turning out of the hill (there is an "abort" path out the bottom" she gasses it and tries to head up the hill...and completely buries it. I trudge over to her, grab the downhill ski and pull her sled around so that it's pointing down hill and she has no option but to exit the hill. More excuses about the sled being set up wrong for hill climbing. Never heard a simple thanks out of this whole deal. Out of spite, I then went back over to my sled, sidehilled it out a bit further, and then hooked it up the hill and climbed over the top. All in all just a person that was completely full of herself and apparently not that great of a rider.
 
Ya know what blows my belt? It's when your hoity-toidy in laws show up for a holiday .... and drop the following on you.
"Oh yea , we all have Celiaks disease now and can't have flour."
There's nothing like a rich family contracting a designer disease all at the same mother fu€kin time!!!
The following was the day after our Thanksgiving.
Me ------"How were those gluten free pies yesterday?"
Them ---"Really good"
Then she tells me all the stuff that happens if a person w/ Celiacs has some flour.
Me ------" Yeaaaaaaa, those pies we all had yesterday.... guess what."

Just to be clear ... I know they didn't have sh!t.
 
HAHAHAHA Thats great two thumbs up good thing they didn't call the cops on you for poisoning them!!! Or all run to the hospital, what do they think crust is made of?
 
A couple of bucks said:
Ya need to tell them every single little thing. And usually retrain them every Monday. Common sense isn't that common in Gen Zers.
Click to expand...

Was at the grocery store the other day and someone drops a gallon of milk in the u-scan line/section (6 registers)... the girl working (20 something) walks away without saying a word. Comes back 5 minutes later... by then there is milk everywhere and everyone needs "cashier assistance" to approve their booze purchase or something else... She ignores everyone and starts spreading some dusty absorber product to soak it all up... People are choking and coughing it's so bad... She dumps 6 packages on the floor and stands there spreading it around the milk lake... How about a mop and bucket instead of $20 worth of absorber WTF... The entire area is in a stand still until she gets around to helping people. Still not a word... until... did anyone need help? she asks... Everyone, "Yes!" ok one minute she says... Back to her oatmeal mixture... Finally 15 minutes later a manager comes over to help us customers as she just mozys around in la la land... Not a F#*$ING CLUE
 
I'm still writing paper checks. My 4th grade teacher(1976) was adamant about nice cursive writing.
After filling out a check a while ago, the chickee-poo cashier asked me the following after she read it.
" What language is that?"
 
It damn near is, Im 45, and was taught it in grade school, but never haved used it day to day.
Would take me a lot more time to actually use it than printing.
Have an old lady that works for me that can use nothing but sloppy cursive, and is damn near impossible to read.
Told her to print, but she cant....
brutal....
 
A couple of bucks said:
I'm still writing paper checks. My 4th grade teacher(1976) was adamant about nice cursive writing.
After filling out a check a while ago, the chickee-poo cashier asked me the following after she read it.
" What language is that?"
Click to expand...

And the corn fed unit did it in a ... Valley girl dialect. I immediately thought ... Oh ----- my---- god Becky.
 
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